Ok folks, here's how it goes:

I'm making this journal private... only a few of you will be able to see it from now on. I got a namechange token from LJ and switched my old name (that still had some paid months left on it) to gaminequeen. The settings of the old journal are all the same, the only difference is that the name changed. So: this is a private journal. Gaminequeen is my public one. As you were.


You know I love to confuse you.

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Note to self: I owe dogberry many many MANY sexual favors. Another book! It made my week. I luff and luff and luff him! And so on and so forth ad infinitum/nauseum.

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After reading a review in Giant Robot I went out and bought Ok Go and EVERYBODY MUST GO LISTEN/BUY!!!! They make me warm and happy inside.

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Subject: Tooled Time: 6.18 pm

[ mood | exhausted ]

Got back from the Tool concert and am feeling slightly overwhelmed.

The concert was great. The time after... not so great. Everybody was staying at the Holiday Inn next to the Civic Center. So everywhere were drunk college and high school persons being as loud as possible as far into the morning as they could. I have no problem with people partying, but in a HOLIDAY INN?? Hello, not EVERYONE there is from the concert. Show some consideration. The people in the room next to us (and there were at least 5 of them but it sounded like FIFTEEN) were screaming and laughing and apparently wrestling and throwing furniture. I felt like we were next door to a partyfrathouse.

I feel old. I've never identified well with my own age group. I know how to have fun, and lord knows I can be pretty damn loud, but I dont need chemicals to get there and I am not completely defined by my needs for sex, alcohol, and attention.

At least this has cured me of my chronic guilt... I just think of those crackheads at the hotel and I feel much less inconsiderate.

So yeah, no sleep. Tired. Much to do. I was going to make a flash ad for luminaery.com since the time is drawing near for its opening, but I was a dumbass and the expiration ran out on the flash design program. Boo.

Augh! Crazyness! Busybusy!

I'll sign off as he did at the concert: "Go home... sit down in front of a nice fire... write some poetry... and masturbate until you pass out."

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Right, I just figured out my problem. I've been so busy I lost track of time: sunday was the beginning of THAT TIME. I'm glad I don't get some of the more incapacitating symptoms, but mine, while not painful, are almost incapacitating in a different way.

You see, around THAT TIME I lose all dexterity and my IQ drops about 100 points. Not only that, but the fabric of space and time and the laws of physics warp to accomidate this weird aura of bad luck that eminates from me during this phase. I swear, inanimate objects fly through the air towards me, sucked in by this magnetic Disaster Aura. I drop things, things fall on me when I haven't even touched them, furniture moves itself so I can fall/run into/trip on it. I can't focus, simple logic escapes me, everything makes me nervous, sometimes to the point of hysteria. I become the ultimate case of bad luck with ADD.

I've never bothered to ask if any other women have this problem. Anyone? Or is this so rare a case that I should offer myself up for scientific testing?

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Time: 7.07 am

[ mood | discontent ]

Marc's sister had a baby. Eric James. So now Marc's entire family (including Marc himself) keep talking about Eric. Which is just confusing and wierd.

I heard California Dreamin' on the radio yesterday and cried.

21 tongues|speak in tongues

Every time I feel strengthened, feel in control, I'm reminded how fragile I really am.

Sometimes I feel like a large, ruthless, calculating warrior-mercenary-type-person that died and somehow ended up reincarnated in the body of a tiny, insecure worrywart pixie-child. I hate feeling fragile, I hate feeling small and insignificant, and I hate feeling dependant. But I am.

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I got my ID in the mail today! This means I can now A) get a PO box 2) get a bank account, which leads to 3) get a paypal account! which leads to 4) I CAN BUY STUFF ONLINE!!! Not that I'm going to go on a spending spree now, but this just makes my life much easier when I do. And the picture on the ID isn't nearly as ugly as I thought it would be.

Anyone have debit-card-related experiences they'd like to share? These internet FAQs are so dry and impersonal, and so are bank brochures.

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bijou sidhe: large boobs freak me out, on a skinny OR a fat girl. I feel like they are separate entities, like they are looking at me or something
bijou sidhe: enTITTIES!

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I've felt really fat lately. Not "OMG I'M SO FAT AND UGLY!" More like "Recently i was abducted by aliens and they have impregnated my womb, and the unnatural child is growing at an advanced rate and my stomach will soon explode and it will devour my flesh."

It could be gas. I think I've just had an excess of nervous energy lately, and it's making me eat too fast. Plus my diet has been thrown all out of whack, not getting enough food... so maybe its the Starving ThirdWorldCountry Child syndrome. I can't imagine it's bloating, because it's not that time yet. My stomach just feel so unnaturally HUGE all the time, like Violet from Willy Wonka. Tie a string to me, cuz any moment the air inside me will cause me to float away...

And no, i'm not pregnant. It's not physically possible, unless you go with the alien theory.

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Subject: Meh Time: 12.12 pm

[ mood | awake ]

Two friends who completely don't know eachother just both made simultaneous entries about jogging.

I wonder if some higher power is trying to tell me something.

speak in tongues

Subject: Mike Time: 5.17 pm

[ mood | amused ]

Mike: your journal will not let me comment. So my response:

"Wow! That's some heavy stuff. Remind me never to ask your opinion on anything remotely law-related again.

What if I asked in metaphors? Or pig latin?"


Boy am I clever.

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Subject: Attention! Time: 6.18 pm

[ mood | crazy ]

Are you interested in...

Adams, Douglas 
aliens 
alternative culture 
anarchy 
Andromeda 
angels 
anime 
art 
astrology 
astronomy 
Babylon 5 
beasts 
boards 
Buffy The Vampire Slayer 
celebrities 
chaos 
chaos theory 
comics 
community 
culture 
creatures 
Crichton, Michael  
darkness 
Dante 
demons 
deviant behavior
divination 
dragons 
Dragonlance 
Dr. Who 
Einstein, Albert
elves 
enchantment 
evil 
fae 
faeries 
fantasy 
Farscape 
fashion 
Feri 
folktales 
forums games 
ghosts 
god 
godesses 
gods 
good 
gothic fashion 
gothic literature 
guardians 
Harry Potter 
Hawking, Steven 
humor 
historic fiction 
historical reenactment 
horror movies 
industrial music 
industrial fashion 
invader zim 
King Arthur 
King, Steven 
kundalini 
lifestyles 
legends 
Lewis, C.S. 
light 
magick 
Magic The Gathering 
metaphysics 
monsters 
music 
mysticism 
mythology 
new age 
paganism 
paranormal 
prophecies 
Red Dwarf 
reincarnation 
religion 
rice, anne 
rpg
Sagan, Carl 
shopping 
sidhe 
science 
science ficton 
scifi.com 
sorcery 
souls 
supernatural 
space 
spirituality 
Star Trek 
Star Wars 
Stoker, Bram
tarot 
technology 
techno music 
television 
theories 
Tolkien, J.R.R. 
trance music 
vampires 
vampyres 
Verne, Jules 
video gaming 
visitors 
Wells, H.G. 
Wicca 
wizards 
universal peace 
Xena: Warrior Princess 

That's only the beginning!

(find out what it's all about...)

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Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

I always claim to only seldom indulge in quizzes, or at least posting the results...

but COMEON, it has a ROOSTER on it!!!

stoppard made me do it with her evil aura of bad influence/coolness.

P.S. I typed reSLUTS at first instead of 'results'.

P.P.S. I did it that time too.

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Who here knows Perl?

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I feel better today, but still sapped of energy. Busy and exhausted all at the same time... when I took a nap today it was so comfortable, and at the same time I kept waking up every 5 minutes from adrenaline surges.

Too busy and tired to make comments. Just pretend I left this in your journal, choosing the most appropriate response:

"Wow! That's terrible/wonderful/funny! >:< / >:) / >:D If I weren't worried about giving you germs I would kiss/lick/havesexwith you!"

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from nickol

The rules are simple:
1) go to your friendsfriends list
2) pick the first person listed that is not on your own friends list
3) Reply to one of their more recent posts in a typical manner for your comments and then paste the LJ Friends Tag rules at the end of the comment
4) Post in your journal that they're "it"


bassnectarine is It.

croobies made me do it, the evil lumpling.

5 tongues|speak in tongues

Psst...

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I'm such a dork.

There's always a reason for the things I do. Sometimes I just don't know what that reason is.

Who was the genius that said 'follow your heart' or alternatively, 'listen to your gut'? Whoever it was was probably a hermit.

The Public in general, no matter what Oprah tells you, does not agree with following your heart OR your gut. Doing this requires you to constantly be doing unexpected things, things that don't seem to make sense, things that are sometimes completely opposite of OTHER things you do. Sometimes these things seem like mean things. Sometimes they seem like selfish things. Sometimes they seem like very stupid things.

People who follow their hearts are mean, selfish, and stupid.

Or that's what the people around them think. Actions speak louder than words, yes? Oh, but you are protesting. Following your heart is GOOD, you say? That's what the hallmark cards say, and the children's stories, and Disney. I believe it. We'd all like to. Or most of us would.

But put it in practice... what is following your heart BUT a selfish thing? A heart is hedonistic, it only wants what is best for itself. It just wants.

Ok, so say 'intuition', instead. Listen to intuition.

This, too, causes problems. Your intuition knows what is ultimately best for you, but you (and certainly those around you) may not know it at the time. It doesn't stop to explain to you or them that this will all turn out for good. Ultimately what seems like a bad thing may turn out to be best for you in the long run.

But intuition doesn't really care about other people. It's YOUR intuition. It cares about you. And that's all other people see.

So really, if you run around doing things for the sake of 'following your heart', or 'listening to your intuition, your gut', you are

stupid,
selfish
and mean.

You end up saying dumb things like

There's always a reason for the things I do. Sometimes I just don't know what that reason is.

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